Sunday, November 20, 2005

Big Daddy Does Not Believe in Bigfoot

Since thinking about conspiracies is neither illegal, nor immoral, nor fattening, I have often wondered why people have such a powerful taboo against examining who owns and runs this nation.” – Robert Anton Wilson

As you can probably tell from our last post, Big Daddy Malcontent has a conspiracy theory streak in him running deep and wide. This has probably alienated some of Big Daddy’s readers, since conspiracy theorists are typically viewed as paranoid stoners or rightwing survivalists. Rest assured, Big Daddy is neither; he simply believes that the corporate mindset is determined to systematically suck all that is good, honest and right out of everything it touches. Music, film, fashion, literature, journalism, art, politics, finance, industry, science and just about every other aspect of human endeavor bears the bite marks of the corporate vampire.

To put people’s minds at rest (or to agitate them further), Big Daddy has compiled this list of conspiratorial concepts in which he believes and doesn’t believe.

Big Daddy Malcontent believes…

that the main$tream media are controlled by a combination of covert government propaganda elements such as Operation Mockingbird1., and a narrow corporate agenda dictated by hawkish, self-absorbed social Darwinists like Jack Welch2., Rupert Murdoch3. and the Saudi Royal Family4.;

that America’s education system was set up by a military industrial complex bent on mass-producing ignorant, obedient soldier-laborers5.;

that the main purpose of television is to maintain a nation of frightened, paranoid consumers who relentlessly seek refuge in sports, junk food, unnecessary pharmaceutical products and unneeded material possessions6.;

that a significant portion of the car- and suicide-bombings in Iraq are actually being perpetrated by US and British elements bent on prolonging the conflict thereby maximizing profits for Halliburton and the Carlyle Group7., and that the dramatic increase in Afghanistan’s opium production in the post-9/11 era is directly benefiting said US and British elements8.;

that terrorist actions like the Lockerbie Bombing9. and the car-bombing that killed former Lebanese Prime Minister Rafiq Hariri10. were probably perpetrated by US and/or British intelligence agents, and that said agents have either created or infiltrated terror cells throughout the world which they use to eliminate threats and manipulate the public11.;

that the 9/11 attacks were orchestrated by elements within the Bush Administration led by Vice President Cheney, Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, Asst. Sec of Def. Paul Wolfowitz; Marvin Bush12. (the president’s brother), and various other government and corporate entities for the purpose of decreasing domestic civil liberties and increasing covert and overt military actions in resource rich regions throughout the world13.;

that the Pentagon is controlled by corporate interests;

that the assassinations of JFK, RFK, MLK, Malcolm X, Fred Hampton and others were carried out by a coalition of CIA, FBI, KKK and Mafia elements;

and that the international drug trade is, by turns, tolerated, condoned and operated by the same elements;

Big Daddy Malcontent does not believe…

in bigfoot;

in UFOs (however, belief in UFOs may have been manipulated as a cover for super-secret weapons programs);

that a massive UN army is poised for attack at the Canadian border;

that the UN is evil (however, attempts to usurp the UN for the benefit of dark corporate interests may have rendered the UN evil);

that water fluoridation is a communist plot;

Big Daddy Malcontent believes that even these conspiracy theories reveal both a well-justified mistrust of America’s leadership, and evidence that the media’s campaign to frighten and confuse the citizenry has been largely successful. Big Daddy believes you should turn off the television. And get some exercise. And read more. If you’re not sure what to read, Big Daddy recommends you start here14. And here15. And here16. And here17., here18. and here19.. Big Daddy Malcontent believes organized religion (not religious belief, mind you) exists to subjugate and manipulate the populace20.. As Gore Vidal once put it, “A cult is a religion that lacks political clout.”
The existence of conspiracies can hardly be argued. What can be argued is the nature of the conspiracies, and who is carrying them out. But, as Robert Anton Wilson observed, “most ‘good citizens’ would rather die, even in prolonged torture, than to face the facts.” Construction and deletion is how psychologists describe this phenomenon. We form mental constructs – that America stands for freedom and justice, for example – and delete any data that seems to contradict the constructs. As the central deity in the Church of the Sub Genius, J.R. “Bob” Dobbs instructs21., “The major errors by which most people are deceived are (1) the belief that our rulers are dumb, and (2) the belief that they mean well. They are not dumb and they don’t mean well.”


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