Saturday, May 06, 2006

I'm Back. You Can Relax, Now.


Well, I guess it’s time for Big Daddy to crawl out of his cave. Encouraging words from Blue Gal and others have roused me from my hibernation. See, the thing is, my interest in Current Events alternates between morbid fascination and utter disgust, and when I’m in the utter disgust phase, my brain goes into this sub-human mind-lock thing during which I can only utter random syllables – to say nothing of actually typing them onto a computer. It’s kind of like being a guest on the O’Reilly Factor 24/7. The bullshit spews out so fast that my brain can’t process it and the mind-numbing rage takes hold. Not only that, but I’ve got a lazy streak in me a mile wide. Not only that, but I’m the world’s biggest procrastinator. Not only that, but so many other bloggers are doing a pretty good job of covering the bases without me – bloggers like this guy, and this guy, and these guys

But the stupidity grows exponentially and the intelligence only grows gradually. What good are bloggers, after all, when the Shiny Happy People in my fair town cannot seem to grasp the concept of NOT DRIVING ON THE LIGHT RAIL TRACKS? They could’ve put the thing underground, but the Shiny Happy People didn’t want to cough up the dough. You see, the Shiny Happy People don’t want mass transit; they want more roads – that is, more venues in which to ostentatiously display their wealth. So they put the thing at street level where the Shiny Happy People are free to drive their SUVs on the tracks while talking about themselves on their cell phones. AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!

It’s.

Happening.

Again.

Must. Not. Think. About. Useless. Self-absorbed. Yuppy. Dildoes.

2 comments:

Pissedoffcabbie said...

An SUV hit by a train? Gee, that's too bad. I'm just glad the train was okay.

Those Shiny Happy People just don't seem to recognize any boundaries. They graze wherever the grass grows.

4 out of 5 of the SUVs I see on the road are being driven (if you could call it that) by a solitary female. What is it, penis-envy? Compensation for not wearing a tiara? Muffy needs to step down, and get into a Prius before the water level reaches her upturned nose.

Evian backwards is naive. Doesn't that figure.

Blue Gal said...

Yeah, what is up with women driving hummers, fer chrissake? I feel like screaming, HEY! Your kids are breathing the air, bitch!

Pimp is up, btw. Welcome HOME. xoxoxo